Holden Caulfield was right. Fucking phonies. There is no one worse than them; because bad people are all fucking phonies, and the worst people are the worst phonies. Sure, being a phony wasn’t the biggest flaw of Hitler or Stalin, but both dictators were still undeniably fucking phonies. Playing the nationalistic hero when really they were just two of the most self-obsessed greedy egomaniac assholes ever? All the other lesser baddies are phonies too, though, all throughout history right up to our modern day fucked up society. Politicians, professors, celebrities, students, 9-5ers, ‘49ers, sell-out artists and washed up hippies, environmentalists, fundamentalists, idealists and racists, partiers, poets, critics and cynics, enlightened ideologues and ignorant extremists; all fucking phonies. Our society is inundated with them: physically flooded with not only the inanity of their meaningless words but also the nefarious nature of their existence—the fact that they self-perpetuate and reproduce (both sexually and socially), intensifying the illness they inflict on the intellect of our culture.
Momma didn’t raise no phony. I’m genuine, real, honest; innocent. Ignorant you say? “A difference there is!” I declare defensively. Innocence is more self awareness than ignorance, which ostensibly is the opposite. An innocent knows that he does not know; an ignoramus foolishly believes he does know. Innocence exists on the path to enlightenment, whereas ignorance is no path at all, but a dead end; a cul-de-sac; in a neighborhood far away from the Utopia of enlightenment. When ignorance meets anger (which can at times be righteous, but oftentimes is just righteously misused) it breeds hatred—an offspring most awful; if not the direct descendant of the devil, at least a close cousin or maybe favored friend? Seven is a generously low number for deadly sins, explicitly exemplified by its exception of hatred, per se.
Certainly lacking from the list is the sin of being a phony. Maybe it was left off the list because the scribe taking dictation knew that too many people would be found immediately guilty and an endemic panic would ensue. Well, fuck the phonies. I do not need a list of criminal traits to tell me who is deserving of blame and ridicule. Phonies may not know they are phonies—they may put all their energy towards convincing themselves that they are not, that they are one of the few good ones, maybe even pointing their hypocritical finger at some other phony to mask their own transgressions—but I know. I see them. Fucking phonies.
*this is a guest post, submitted by a reader…who apparently does not like people much*